Reasons for the rivalry
Playtime for Peace
3. Keep a regular family time and make it fresh and interesting. Have a scheduled meeting every week where you could talk to your kids about their shortcomings and even the issues in their school. This way, you could encourage an open communication within the household and establish a stronger connection within family members especially siblings.
4. Implement a reward system. As parents, you should learn how to catch their attention even at playtime in the playground and revert this to something that could be beneficial to you. The reward system involves giving them a prize whenever they have done something good, such as helping a kid in the playground or sharing a candy to her brother. However, every time a reward system is given, it should be explained well in order to give the child the impression that everything has its reasons and understanding is the key to resolving things.
6. Treat each child equally. Lack of equality is the root cause of sibling rivalry. Equality is not just measured by the material things given to children but includes the amount of time spent with kids, the attention given to them, and even the discipline given to them.
7. Be the referee. Being a parent is an all-around job, it is a job of different professions wherein you are expected to become a teacher, doctor, chef, chauffeur, and even referee. Whenever conflict occurs, parents are expected to end the quarrels as referees. When squabbles evolve to violent reactions such as hitting and spanking, parents are responsible for stopping the conflict.
8. Leave the solution to the children. During petty squabbles, children should leave the solution to the kids. They should encourage the kids to knowing the correct move towards achieving peace between them. This way, you are teaching them self esteem, respect, and freedom over the decisions and choices that they make. Imposing over their decisions always leaves to them thinking that you are taking one side over another. On the contrary, leaving the solution to them makes them realize what is right from wrong.
9. Never get tired of explaining. As parents, sibling rivalry is something we have heard and know of. Kids will always have something to ask about and parents should answer them and explain each detail carefully until the child understands it. Leaving a kid hanging on to a decision which does not make sense usually leads to a negative overview to a parent’s decision-making authority.
10. Prepare the older child when you’re expecting a new baby at home. The arrival of a new baby leaves the impression to the older kid of being neglected. As such, kids feel sibling jealousy and are threatened that they will be neglected. In cases as such, parents should have included their older son or daughter into the planning of the baby. Oftentimes, this means explaining their upcoming role as older sisters and that he or she is important to this glorious event.
1. Compare. All people are born unique and each has talents that they must hone. Comparing siblings encourages competitiveness at the least setting where it is needed. Comparison notes only the weaknesses and gives little credit to the strengths one child has over another.
2. Set high expectations. Like comparing kids, setting high expectations gives stress to a child who has to meet with the demands of parents. Having children live in a stressful environment causes a child to look into himself and develop anxiety due to his failure of putting up with the standards set by parents.
3. Ignore the little things. Sometimes, the little things make up the most of everything, especially for kids. The worlds of kids revolve on playtime and family time. Ignoring the little things cover the daily chores, the sharing of toys with other kids in the playground or even the simple act of saying thank you and admitting a mistake by saying sorry. These small things occupy the biggest part of their childhood and their hearts. Parents should be able to acknowledge all these things.
4. Intervene and play the role of a judge. Parents should not settle the arguments between siblings. Instead, parents should be the referee. The only time parents must intervene is when the kids are about to resolve the conflict through violence. It is up to the parents to explain the reason of intervention and listen to both sides of the story while maintaining a peaceful talk between the two.
6. Be unfair. Every child that you have must be treated equally. Fairness means seeing the good in every child, while investing time and effort to each, equally as well. In material things however, give the same amount of time for play with each and every kid that you have, may it be taking turns in the swing with you pushing them one at a time or watching over every kid in the slides.
7. Play favorites. Though it is unavoidable, parents should stop saying “you must be like your brother,” “you should have done this as your sister did it,” or “your sister is better than you.” All these statements bring competitiveness at the wrong concept. Moreover, parents should never have favorites as this encourages neglect of one child over another.
8. Yell all the time. Do not yell all the time, you are setting an example for kids to do as something normal people would. Remember that you are your children’s role model. In their eyes, you are the epitome of what they should become. Yelling all the time is one trait that you should never practice at home.
9. Encourage competitiveness. Parents should not encourage competitiveness in between siblings. One is not required to beat another child especially if you are in a family.
10. Implement a punishment system. You do not want your children to follow your rules and instructions just because they are scare of you right? Fear should not be nurtured at home; it should be love that drives people to do things.